


42. inside the sun

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [267]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 00:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10424817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: The box Helena is carrying is labeled KITCHEN #2 in S’ handwriting. It’s full of things that could break, if Helena let them.





	

The sight of the hot gold world. Helena lugs another box into it – gold sunlight, gold heat pressing down on her shoulders – and then sits down on the curb and breathes hot air in the hot heat. If she works hard enough she doesn’t have to feel sad about anything. She’ll lift another box, in a minute. Soon.

A water bottle knocks against her face and Helena fumbles for it, grabs it, drinks the whole thing in one go. Sarah sits down on the curb next to her.

“Week after I had Kira I didn’t want to stop moving,” she says. “S practically had to strap me down.”

Helena doesn’t say anything. _I know_ would be pointless: she knows.

“Tell me I don’t have to strap you down, meathead,” Sarah says.

“I can help,” Helena says.

“Not an answer.”

“You do not have to use straps,” Helena says obediently, and crumples the water bottle in her palms. It sounds awful. She uncrumples it and then crumples it again. The box next to her is labeled KITCHEN #2 in S’ handwriting. It’s full of things that could break, if Helena let them.

Next to her Sarah sighs. “It’s just for now,” she says. “Kira needs to switch schools, we need…” she trails off, her words vanishing. Helena doesn’t have to tell Sarah that she knows.

“I know,” she says anyways, to keep this conversation living. It’s one of the last conversations she and Sarah will have; Helena wants it to matter. She wants all sorts of things that probably won’t happen. For example: Sarah staying.

“We’ll come back,” Sarah says.

“I know.”

“There’s Skype,” Sarah says. “Alison teach you how to use that?”

“Yes.”

“You better send me pictures of my nieces or I’m gonna come back just to hit you.”

It would be worth it.

“I will,” Helena says, instead of that.

“Gonna miss you, Helena,” Sarah says. Helena looks at Sarah, who is staring at the house across the street and not looking at Helena at all. This would feel true if Sarah was looking at her, probably. But Sarah is looking at the heat rising off the asphalt. There’s a bead of sweat trickling down her face. Sweat and tears taste the same, Helena knows, especially if you are hungry enough – but they’re different things. Helena looks at the road too. The heat looks solid, like you could touch it and it would be real.

“I will miss you also, _sestra_ ,” she says. She’s so warm but her heart is a rabbit freed from its snare and if she doesn’t lift another box right now she’ll do something awful, like cry, like tell Sarah she has to stay. She stands up off the curb and twists the water bottle crack _pop_ until it doesn’t look like anything but plastic. She offers a hand to help Sarah up but Sarah doesn’t take it; she stands up on her own.

“Just for now, though,” Sarah says.

_I know_ , but Helena wants the conversation to be over so she just walks away. Inside the house is cool and dark, and there is a box at the bottom of the stairs that says KIRA’S ROOM and Helena is biting her lip now, she has it between her teeth. The box when she lifts it is light, like nothing is inside of it. Helena carries it out to the curb.

She puts down the box. Sarah is standing there, hands in her pockets. “You gotta look after them for me,” she says, quietly enough that it could be an apology. “You got it? I need you to – to keep them safe.”

“I will,” Helena says. Of course she will. She would even if Sarah wasn’t telling her to, offering it to her like a present instead of an order. She wants to reach out and pat Sarah’s face, but she can’t quite manage it. “Look after them,” she says. “Your family. Kira.”

Sarah runs a hand through her hair. “Yeah,” she says, and laughs sadly – a huff of breath between her teeth. “Yeah,” she says again.

There are so many more boxes to bring outside. So many things that make up a life, when you break it down and put it in cardboard and take it away.

“Just for now,” Helena says.

“Yeah,” Sarah says. Helena nods at her, once, and then heads back inside to keep helping Sarah leave.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


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